As I sat at our monastery’s reception desk the other day, I offered to converse with our visiting monk because his desire was to learn to speak English better. His English was already very good, he just needed to work on putting sentences together better. I wasn’t very good at teaching him, but after five minutes of floundering we just began conversing, instead of me assuming he knew less than he did. We were looking through a book and I commented on one of the people pictured in the book who I knew he’d met. I told him that the individual “is very funny”. He changed it to “very humorous” and I said yes. (The person is actually a talented comedian so this was no overstatement.) But, then, the monk said to me “He is kind.” Which hit me like a lightning bolt and it was my takeaway from the whole day. I started wondering if that monk would tell anyone later that I was kind. Probably not. Not that I was not kind, it just probably wouldn’t be his first way to describe me. And I want to be described as “kind”. So there is my new personal goal. Someday after I am gone, I hope that those who knew me say “She was kind”. Yes, number one, that would be a wonderful way to be remembered. While I do try to make decisions based upon what others might want and I’m generous with giving people compliments for jobs well done, I still don’t think people would use the word “kind” first and foremost to describe me. Which made me do a thought experiment… to consider my ideal epitaph. Here goes…
CONCISE VERSION:
She was kind.
LONGER VERSION:
Lover of Nature and beauty.
Wife, mother, artist, writer, student of life.
Joyful and kind.
I asked ChatGPT to describe a kind person and this was its answer:
To describe a kind person, you can focus on their actions, words, and overall attitude. Here are some ways you might describe them:
- Empathetic – They are good at understanding and sharing the feelings of others, always making sure people feel heard and cared for.
- Generous – They are quick to give their time, energy, or resources to help others without expecting anything in return.
- Patient – They are calm and composed, willing to take the time to listen and understand others without rushing them.
- Supportive – They always have your back, offering encouragement and help when it’s needed the most.
- Polite and respectful – They treat everyone with consideration, no matter their background or status.
- Thoughtful – They often go out of their way to do little things that show they care and think about others’ happiness.
- Non-judgmental – They are open-minded and accepting, not quick to criticize or make assumptions about others.
- Altruistic – They put others’ needs before their own, often engaging in acts of kindness without seeking recognition.
You could say something like:
“She’s the kind of person who always makes sure everyone feels included, never hesitating to lend a hand or offer a kind word, no matter the situation.”
One Seeker's Story 